


it'd be an honour

by starrkeys



Series: For Him [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: A bit sad, Bittersweet, Happy Ending, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:17:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrkeys/pseuds/starrkeys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some people that are just so wonderful and perfect for you that the good times are worth the bad. It’s just so unbelievable that you have gotten to know them that even if they break your heart, it would be worth it. For Troye, Connor was one of those people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it'd be an honour

**Author's Note:**

> It’s told almost entirely using dialogue. I’d like to say it’s a style choice but honestly it’s just laziness on my part because phone calls annoy me in that the characters can’t actually interact physically and I’m not about to waste my time filling in space with unnecessary words.

“Connor! I was just going to call you.”

“Hi Troye.”

“How are you?”

“I’m alright. You?”

“I’m great; everything’s great. I actually have a surprise…. Are you sure you’re okay? Is something wrong?”

“…no, I mean, nothing’s wrong. I’m just, uh, I just… I was doing some thinking.”

“This isn’t going where I think this is going, is it?” There was a cold knife of fear in Troye’s heart.

“Um… where do you think this is going?”

“It sounds like you’re breaking up with me.” It was a statement but also really a question. Troye could hear the breathlessness in his own voice. He felt like someone was squeezing his lungs in a vice.

“I’m not breaking up with you but….”

“But what?”

“Troye, maybe… maybe this isn’t the right time to have this conversation. You know what? It’s fine. It’s fine. It was stupid anyway. Everything’s fine.”

“Obviously everything isn’t fine. What is it? It’s obviously important.”

“Troye, seriously, it’s fine.”

“I don’t believe you. You’ve got me all freaked out and you can’t just say it’s fine. Because it’s not.”

“Okay fine! I just think that maybe we should take a break. Not break up! Just, like, a break.” Connor’s voice got very quiet by the end as if that would soften the blow or erase his intent. It didn’t. Obviously.

“I… why? We’re alright, aren’t we? Everything’s fine isn’t it?” Troye felt like his voice was going shrill, like he was some hysterical, clingy girlfriend.

“Yeah, we’re fine. We’re fine. I love you. It’s just that…,” he paused, trying to think of the next words to say. Troye didn’t bother interrupting. He didn’t know the words either. “It’s just that we’re both so busy and we never see each other and like, you’re a real musician who goes on tour and I’ve got Common Culture and everything’s working out for us but. But we never see each other. And maybe things aren’t working out for us. Like separately everything’s great but maybe our futures just don’t… work. You know? And I don’t want to start resenting each other or arguing and I don’t want to break your heart and I know that’s stupid because, like, what I’m doing right now but it would just be worse the longer we left it. I just feel like it’s inevitable and that… it’s just… I don’t know. I just don’t know any more Troye.”

Silence.

“Troye?”

“I’m here…. You’ve been thinking about this for a while?” His voice cracked. He felt like he was about to cry. All he could think about was the plane ticket he’d just bought and how excited he’d been to tell Connor that he was coming to see him.

“Yeah I guess.”

“So there’s nothing actually wrong though? You just… you expect things to go wrong? You don’t think we can make this work?”

“I-I guess?”

Troye wanted to punch something. He wouldn’t object to that something being Connor’s face. Then he felt guilty and had the urge to apologize to Connor.

“Look, I don’t want to break up. I don’t. I just think everything needs to settle down and until then we can just put it all on pause and we can talk about things once we have some time together.”

“I don’t want to go on pause.”

“Troye….”

“Look, Connor, it’s either play or stop. I love you, you love me. We’re fine. Everything’s fine. And if someday it’s not fine, it would be an honour to have my heart broken by you. Okay? I wasn’t lying when I said I want it all. I want a future. Together. And if you want that too, then there is no problem. Okay? There is no problem.”

“Of course I want a future! Of course I do. How could I not?”

“So then what’s the problem?” Troye began pacing his hotel room.

“…I’m scared. I’m scared. I don’t want to end up hating each other.”

“We won’t. I could never hate you. I’m so glad I have you in my life and I’m so thankful and that is never, ever, ever going to change. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I know. Okay. Yeah.”

“Besides, if we were on a break, what would I do with my plane ticket?”

“You’re coming to see me?”

“That’s why I was gonna call you. It’s my surprise.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you.”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll talk when I get there.”

“I love you.”

“I love you. I’ll be there in a few days.”

“I’ll see you then.”

“Don’t think too much.”

“I won’t.”

“Alright, I love you; I’ll talk to you later.”

“Love you. Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Are we actually going to hang up?”

“Probably not.” Connor laughed.

“We’ll talk later.”

“We’ll talk later.”

Then Troye was listening to the dial tone.


End file.
